So Your Hookup Date Now Wants To Be Your Girlfriend: Tactics For Saying No Without Crushing Her To Pieces
After spending weeks, months or years hooking up with each other, your date thinks it’s about time for her to be in a closer relationship with you. If this is not what you had in mind, it can get frightening. You certainly don’t want to hurt her feelings or stop your little lusty dates. But at the same time, you know in your heart that you do not want to go any further in the relationship. Your situation now feels like a dead end. Will you give in and be her boyfriend, or will you break up and crush her heart? The good news is that you don’t have to do either one. There are ways to get over the situation with you both being happy. Here are some great tactics for saying No without crushing her heart.
1. Just tell her no already, by expressing your honest feelings
No woman likes to be deceived into believing something that will not happen. Be honest with her and let her know that she is a wonderful friend and you enjoy having sex with her. This is a good way to start off your discussion. Let her know that while you like and admire her for who she is, you are not ready to commit to a relationship yet. Be straight and simple. The last thing you want is to lead her, making her believe that you want to commit to her. You should not try to tell her stories or make excuses as they are absolutely unnecessary. An intelligent lady will understand exactly how you feel. She will even feel better to know your exact stance on relationships without having to wonder.
2. Say no by avoiding frequent meet ups
A guy can give a girl false impressions about his feelings of seeing her too often. If this lady is your hookup date, avoid meeting with her for casual dates and outings. The more time you spend together, the more she will believe that you are ready to enter into a more intimate relationship. To send a strong message, lessen your outings with her to 3 or 4 times per week. If she continues to push the relationship issue, see her less frequently, maybe 4 times for every 2 weeks. It is important to be subtle with this. You surely don’t want her to think that you are avoiding her. Continue to be kind and friendly to her. Remember that you do not want to hurt her feelings. A little distance is a sure way of passively saying that you are not ready for a commitment. She will understand your point, eventually.
3. Avoid the boyfriend, girlfriend talk
You can say no to a relationship by avoiding certain conversations. Do not say things that will make her feel too good. For instance, avoid the romantic talk like; “I love your brown eyes”. Do not be specific on descriptive details about her. Women take this to mean that you are admiring them and this will lead them in the direction of the girlfriend – boyfriend thought. Instead, tell her that she ‘looks great’ if you want to make a compliment. Be natural and fun with her. Talk to her like your typical hangout buddy. Try to meet her when you are meeting your guy friends. This will strike the relationship talks out of your conversation. Besides, guy outings are meant to be fun, not intimate. She will appreciate your conversations, but if you are not romantic in your conversations, she will not be romantic either.
4. Say no by emphasizing on sex
Since she is your hookup date after all, your conversations should be focused on sex and not relationship. You can emphasize on topics about sex, stuff you want to try next and so on if she begins to talk about being your girlfriend. Let her know that you are both there to please each other in bed. Let her share what she likes with you and you share sexual fantasies with her. Every woman knows that sex is different from ‘relationship’. If she wants a relationship with you and she knows that you are solely interested in sex, she will look elsewhere. Don’t worry; she will not be mad at you for focusing on what you both made arrangement for anyway. Be careful though, if she is ready to move on to a more serious relationship, chances are she will stop hooking up with you. You have to know exactly what you want and deal with the consequences as they come.
Men typically don’t want to commit to one woman too early. They like to live their lives free and unrestrained. There should not be any feeling of obligation, which may sometimes feel like imprisonment. You certainly don’t want to be committed to your hook up date, well, not for the moment at least. Try out the tactics listed, and keep your relationship open, vibrantly passionate and casual.